


Closed for Business

by ComeAsYouAre



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-18 13:03:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3570644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComeAsYouAre/pseuds/ComeAsYouAre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The quirks of being married to an errant hero.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closed for Business

Some idiot was trying to pound the door in.

As much as he enjoyed being married to the Dragonborn, there were times when Marcurio was less than thrilled with the unexpected corollary duties. Duties such as fending off fans of the Dragonborn.

“We’re not open!” He yelled, “Come back tomorrow!”

Marcurio sighed when he received muffled yelling in response. Normally that worked, but looks like he’d actually have to crack the door open to properly shoo the unwanted visitor away. Maybe even zap them. His wife never really approved of of that tactic, but little spells like Sparks did the job when nothing else would.

“Didn’t you hear me?” He yelled again as he carefully opened the door, “We’re NOT OP-!!”

“HOLY SHIT!” His wife came tumbling through the doorway in an ungainly heap. She’d gone and overburdened herself while out adventuring. As usual. It was a good thing she let him sell most of it, otherwise they wouldn’t have space to live. Sometimes he thought she married him to sell all the junk she couldn't stop herself from picking up…

“Honey? Are you ok?”

“That’s not important!” She scrambled out of the mess she’d made of the recently cleaned floor to throw herself at him. “Bedroom. NOW.”

“What is going on-”

“SEX is what’s going on. I haven’t seen you in _weeks_ since the war began in earnest, and I’m now that I’m here, _I’m going to get some._ ” She began throwing off what remained of her gear and abandoned it on the pile. “Now get your sweet ass in bed or I’m taking you on the floor.”

Chuckling, Marcurio brushed past her to lock the door. “What, no _‘Hello, love! I’m home!’_ or anything? I’m starting to feel a little used, sweetheart!” The lock clicked into place and he turned to smirk at her, “Do I even get choice? I mean, you HAVE heard of consent, right?”

 _“Marcurio…!!”_ His wife whined. She was always quite adorable when she *ahem* _needed_ him.

“Perhaps not. Or maybe you’re just into a _little_ potential non-”

“Curse it Marcurio!” She seized the front of his robes and began gesturing wildly at her womanly parts, _“Please-fill-this-for-the-love-of-Talos's-almighty-dick-please-fill-this-prompt-!!”_

He quickly muffled her with a hand before her language got any more colorful, “Whoa, there! Okay! I get it! One sacrilegious dicking coming right up! Now _please_ stop yelling before the neighbors complain again!”

She nodded eagerly behind his hand.

“Okay, then. I’ll start heating up some water for a bath before we get all _sorts_ of dirty, alright? Now are you done proclaiming our impending sex to the town, or do I have to gag you?”

She merely laughed at him and danced out of his reach. Smiling rather cheekily, she faced him and playfully announced, “Hi, love. I’m home.”

“Well THAT was rather belated.”

“I was rather focused on-”

”Getting some?” He finished for her. “You know, sometimes I think you married me because you enjoy abusing my talents!”

“And what talents they are!” She winked salaciously before disappearing into the bedroom.

“Love you!” He called after her.

She responded by tossing her underthings playfully through the bedroom door.

Well. It wasn’t always easy, but being married to the Dragonborn was certainly never boring...


End file.
